Hello world. The following was written 12/10/2014.
I was talking with my Husband Alex last night, about fears. I am not afraid, of death. It doesn’t frighten me. I have died and been resuscitated so many times, death no longer terrifies me. Yet the thought of my Husband Alex dying, scares the shit out of me. The thought of being left alone to deal with life without his love and support, really terrifies me. So much so, I can’t stop crying at the mere thought of it.
This is quite strange for me, because being alone has never bothered me in any way before. I like my own company, the silence and stillness. To think of my Husband as no longer being here, creates such an aching void in my heart, it truly feels unbearable. So much so, I feel as if I would no longer want to exist, without him with me. Wow, such powerful emotions. I am struggling to maintain, some semblance of control here. Holy Spirit, what is in this lesson for me? Is it, that I can love so very deeply? What is the lesson?
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.