Hello world. The following was written 01/16/2023.
I am guided to write an article regarding, the passing of our loved ones and pets. Of how deeply felt and Universal our Souls pain is and can be felt by all around us, near and far. How the pain of loss is Universal, yet it can be expressed in many ways.
My Husband Alex shared the following when our Cat Chance crossed the Rainbow Bridge on January 12, 2023.
Alex shares, “Today has been very emotional. One of our three cats, Chance, crossed over this morning. He had been dealing with kidney failure for several months and recently got an eye infection in his right eye causing him to lose the eye. The vet had him overnight for observation but called me back after just a few hours recommending that he be euthanized to reduce his suffering. It was a act of compassion to keep him alive when we got him 7 1/2 years ago with veterinary medical care and it was an act of compassion to take his life.
Seven and a half years ago the veterinary clinic wanted to put him down and give us a new kitten that was healthy and had all of his shots and I refused telling them that he is not an old laptop to just be thrown away. He came to us looking for help and I was not about to take his life. At that time I decided that if he dies he dies, but I am going to give him every chance to live, so I named him Chance.
But what happens when a slow painful death is inevitable? There becomes a point when it would be an act of selfishness and cruelty to keep a pet alive. Sabrina held him in her arms this morning while he passed. It was one of the most emotionally painful things I have had to endure. It felt like losing a child. We will miss you Chance.”
The passing of our cat Chance has had a deep impact for me, on many levels. His passing has been a catalyst to my looking at and healing the passing of our cat Spazz in 2019, after we first moved into our RV. His passing has also has me looking at my Dad’s passing six months ago in August, which I had not had the opportunity to look at heal from yet.
When Spazz passed, we were in the middle of the tumult of moving into the RV, closing our business of 23 years and trying to escape California with its pandemic lockdowns. When my Dad passed, we were on a work camping job, trying to figure our where we were going next, while recovering from covid. Our world was in chaos. We did not have the luxury of grieving for our losses.
Now we find ourselves in the desert. Alex is working and I am recovering from a walking pneumonia brought on by a bad flu bug during Christmas. As I was struggling to breathe, my Chance was struggling to live and overcome kidney failure.
The day he crossed the Rainbow Bridge I held him in my arms, cradled as the baby he was to me. I held him for almost an hour as he breathed his last breath. I held him as his heart beat finally stop. I knew the instant he left his form. In that instant I let out a silent scream in my agony of loss. I could not hold back this primal scream of agony.
In those moments I was releasing my pain, suffering and agony over the loss of Spazz, my Dad and my baby Chance. Chance’s death was my catalyst, to looking at and releasing the pain of loss I had buried in those moments of chaos taking over what was my reality. The depth of this pain had me screaming silently. Unable to give full voice to that which was overwhelming me in the moment.
The last few days have shown Alex and I just how keenly felt, is the agony of loss. It’s pain is Universal and felt by all. Those near and far can feel another’s agony in suffering in those moments, without a word being passed between them. All will experience some form of this pain for themselves, and all will be the catalyst to this pain for others.
The Agony of loss, is Universal for a reason. No one can escape the experience of it. We as Humans will experience it. All animals and creatures throughout Creation will experience this. Even our flora and fauna experiences this on some level of awareness. It is these types of experiences which connect us one to another as equals seamlessly within the fabric of creation.
As my brother is filled with the pain of loss, so to am I filled with the pain of loss. In this way we are able to come together and join our heart in minds in the healing of this loss, which is Universal to all within Creation.
Sometimes in the moment, we are not afforded the luxury of looking at and healing our heart aches, of those we have lost. Sometimes, it is in the moment of losing ones animal companion, all those buried instances of loss, come forward all at once to be looked at and healed. Sometimes the catalyst brings forward a depth of pain and suffering we were not even aware of holding within us, until that moment it comes up for release.
I am grateful for the time I had with Chance. I am grateful for the time I had with Spazz. I am grateful for the time I had with my Dad. I am grateful for the gift I have been given in having all of them walk with me on this journey. Thank you God for such a wonderful gift.
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.