Hello world. The following was written 01/11/2020.
I used to be terrified, of being seen or heard. I used to be terrified, the world would find out, I was psychic. Growing up, I was judged by my family, their friends, neighbors and the Catholic Church, as being demon possessed, so evil. They believed the only way to get the demons out of me, was to beat them out of me, through canings, exorcisms, rapes, molestation and myriad mental and emotional abuses. These treatments continued, until I was 14 years old. Then I walked away from the church and 2 years later, I walked away from my family.
On my journey, I tried to hide my abilities. My brothers would react the same way my family and the church reacted, to what I was able to do. This caused me to have to walk, a very solitary path alone with no support, validation or acceptance from those around me. I had to learn to become Self Reliant and to TRUST, that which was being shown to me, by Holy Spirit.
My fear of being seen so judged, incurred multiple cancers and other diseases within my body. My fear of accepting who I AM and that which I AM able to do, was killing me slowly from within, eating at me unknowingly. I was told I was dying by doctors and that I was delusional, for having visions and hearing Voiceless Voices. They wanted, to hospitalize and institutionalize me. I walked away, from them all.
I turned within and began listening fully, to those Voiceless Voices, asking questions of Holy Spirit and my Guides. Slowly I began to accept myself, exactly as I AM and all that I AM able to do. When I did, I healed completely on all levels of my Being, all disease and every experience I ever had. I AM no longer afraid, to be seen or heard. I AM, that I AM and no one but me, gets a say in what I AM choosing for me. My choices are my choices, to Be as I choose to Be. No one else gets a say in it, at any time, ever.
My brothers fear, not being seen or heard. You are allowed to think, see, Be, believe, perceive so express yourself, exactly as you so choose. You are not required to do or Be, as anyone else is choosing or dictating to you. You are allowed to choose differently than they do, for yourself. Stand in your Light of Truth, accepting yourself as you are and choose to be. It matters not, if those around you agree with you. What they choose, is what they will have to heal themselves from, just as you will have to heal yourself on your own journey. We are only responsible for ourselves and that which we, are choosing for us. We cannot choose, for our brothers and they cannot choose for us. We are Individuals who are EQUALS in ALL ways, so each is responsible for themselves and what they are choosing.
A brother states, “Very deep and beautiful wisdom Sabrina. Your stripes were hard won. Thank you”
My response, “Everything we go through, is for our benefit with lessons we are to learn, of ourselves and that which we are choosing to believe in. It is only when we willingly turn within, to Holy Spirit and begin to ask “NON JUDGMENTAL” questions, we are given the answers we so desperately seek. Even when turning within, we must drop our preconceived notions and judgments, of what we believe everything is for. The belief we are being punished in some way, so we ask things like, why me, what did I do to deserve this kind of treatment, sort of questions. Those types of questions hold a prejudgment, something has gone wrong. Instead, we would do better to ask, how is this of benefit and what would you have me understand so learn, from this Holy Spirit. All becomes a shifting, in how we are thinking and perceiving.”
A brother states, “There’s some real wisdom here Sabrina. It’s a huge shift in approach for most of us. A real challenge. Sounds somewhat like the path Someone else walked two thousand years ago…”
My response, “I no longer follow religion my brother, yet I will state this succinctly. Being raised Catholic I would ask, what did Jesus do in my mind, even when the adults around me, were telling me to do this because they say so. As an adult, I reached a point of needing to understand why it was, I could not see Jesus as other than a man. Holy Spirit answered my question, explaining Jesus was a man. He was no different, than me. When asked what to do by his followers, He told them to turn within, to Holy Spirit for their guidance and the answers to their questions.
When Jesus was in his home town, he was faced with disbelief from those who knew him as a child. Their lack of belief in him, kept him from being able to perform any miracles, in their presence. In this same way, I was shown how my own family, treated me the same as those towns people treated him. In those moments, Jesus faced a lack of faith and belief, within himself. Instead of turning to those around him, he turn within to Holy Spirit and headed into the desert, for 40 days and nights.
It was the turning within to Holy Spirit and no one else, which caught my attentions when speaking to the Voiceless Voices, I heard within and without me. It was this understanding of turning within for all answers I would seek, asking Holy Spirit for the answers which began my journey to accepting responsibility for myself, so becoming who I AM and was meant to be.
If I seem similar to him in any way, it is only because I have chosen to do as Jesus did, which was turn within to Holy Spirit and only Holy Spirit, for all of the answers to my questions. I stopped seeking out there in the world and in my brothers for answers, acceptance or approval. I AM that I AM, and no one else gets a say in who I choose to Be. I stand in my Light of Truth, just as Jesus did.”
My brother responds, “Well said Sabrina. Self acceptance and listening to our inner guidance/intuition is a vitally important spiritual lesson. Seems you learned it the hard way — but learned it well.”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.