Hello world. The following was written 6/20/2015.
I found myself contemplating the judgments being handed to me by my brothers. I was trying to understand what it was I was experiencing every time I would interact with certain people. Their judgments were felt fully without them even opening their mouths to say a word. I am reminded of the first ACIM teacher I tried to listen to and how she would deny she was holding a grudge against me. She did this until she could no longer do so.
Sitting here contemplating some things. The immediate feeling of negativity which irrupts when I recognize I am being silently told I am not and will never be good enough for any reason. I am and will always be judge as unworthy by this person. I will never measure up to their standards or mental picture of perfection.
As I look at what I am experiencing, I ask Holy Spirit what I am misperceiving. His answer is I am trying to believe their judgments of me as being true. Nothing I may do or not do will change how they perceive me. Yes, it may sadden me I am not being accepted as I am. In the end it will be their loss not mine. The more they judge me the more they shove themselves away and place a wedge or wall between us.
What would you have me do Holy Spirit?
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.