Hello world. The following was written 12/22/2016.
For the last month I have been looking within at the ties that bound me. My beliefs that I was obligated to financially support my mother and extended family and accept their judgments and dictates. That if my Husband and I did not do whatever they wanted, when they wanted, as they wanted for free we were being ungrateful and disrespectful. If we were choosing to think and believe differently than they were, we are now devil worshipers.
My family walked away from my Husband and I. Yet they demand we come to them with an apology if we want them in our lives. As I sit here looking at that I recognize what they want is to be the victim. They are the ones who tried to manipulate and divide us with their judgments and opinions. The us, being my Husband Alex and I. Our family’s unwillingness to accept our chosen mate has caused this rift. Because we made a decision to choose each other we are now unworthy. Unworthy to be in their presence. Unworthy of their love, affections and their precious attention.
Their inability to accept us unconditionally set the stage for us learning how to accept ourselves. As I am looking within at all of this I notice an absence of emotional attachment. No pain or suffering within. I feel at peace. I feel grateful for the huge weight of the burden of their constant judgments, dictates, manipulations to divide and to get me pick them over my Husband is at an end. I no longer feel as if I am holding a viper to my breast waiting for the right moment to bite me, killing me instantly with their poisons.
Even as I was notified of a family member passing yesterday I feel no emotion. I knew they were in a lot of pain and suffering physically. I also know in my heart they are not gone. They simply laid their body aside and are now in their true form of Loving Light Energy. They no longer suffer that pain and agony of throat cancer. Their body, the car their Soul occupied is now at a full rest as they begin a new journey without the limitations of their car.
I really wish my family could understand where I am at and what I am speaking of when I say he is everywhere and nowhere now. He is always with them and watching them as they continue their journeys. He will be there to help them when they get to where he is now. That he loves them and he always will. He is now their Guide on the other side.
Amazingly that last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. That knowing he is here watching over all of us. I get an amazingly warm and loving feeling inside that makes me cry. He understands what it is I do now. He is seeing the bigger picture. I feel his warmth envelope me as I think of him.
Blessing on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.