Hello World. The following was written 8/10/2017.
When I logged into Facebook after work I came across a post from my Son. In it he was articulating something he was experiencing. The following was his question and my response.
My Son asks, “Has anyone else ever been so fucking angry that they shudder a bit? I am to that point right now, fuck this bullshit.”
My response, “I have had many moments like that sweetheart. I can remember how helpless I felt in those moments too. One such instant was the day I had to hold you still while a doctor caused you physical pain giving you shots. I was angry and frustrated at this need to cause you pain. I was angry and frustrated I was a part of causing you that pain and trauma. I was angry and frustrated at being told I did not have a choice in any of it. Told I “HAD” to vaccinate you for some imagined possible infection which may or may not occur at some unknown future date. I would be shaking uncontrollably by the end of those doctor visits. I would find a place to sit down and just hold you and cry as you cried trying to comfort you, as much as I was getting comfort from you.
I have found taking some time to sit down and breath deeply in silence can help to calm me. I concentrate on my breathing and start looking at why I am upset. I start asking myself questions like, “Am I judging this situation/person? How is this of benefit to me? If I am upset I must have a misconception, what is my misconception here?” As I am asking these questions of myself in my mind I am also listening for an answer from my Guides, Holy Spirit, and God above. I pay attention to the responses which follow those questions closely. I recognize the first response is usually ego driven. The second is usually clear in understanding and compassion. It gives complete clarity to what I have chosen to do in regards the situation and how I may change my own mind about it. When I see and accept this response I am released from my angst and am in peace once more.
I love you my Son. Every experience is of benefit to you. How you choose to see it and perceive it, is entirely up to you. Understand every experience is only an experience. How you are choosing to perceive it is based on what you have chosen to believe. Those beliefs are what you are using to base all judgments from my Son. Be willing to look at what you have experienced. See if you can see where you have chosen to judge it.
Keep in mind it does not matter what anyone else thinks or believes. It does not matter if you are being judged right now either. All that matters is your own choices to judge and react. You see, whatever it is you choose, you will be the only one effected by it. This is because it will eat at you from within. It eats at you and not the one you feel this way towards. This is why you are the only one who will feel it’s effects. These kinds of deep emotions are connected to every judgment we hold forth as being true. These are also connected to every disease we incur within our bodies. Those judgments and the emotional reactions of anger, fear, and depression are the catalysts to the epidemic of disease strangling Humanity at this time.
The way out is to go within and be willing to look at what we are thinking, feeling emotionally, and feeling physically. To see how each one is connected to the other. Then look at the thoughts and ask ourselves where the thought came from. Why we are choosing to believe it? Is it even true? Recognize how most of what we think and believe in has been taught to us by someone else and we never questioned that which we had been taught. In many instances we chose to blindly follow and believe whatever was being said and done just so we would be accepted and could fit in with those around us.
I taught you to question everything Son, even me, your mother. I taught you think for yourself and use cognitive discernment to base your responses and actions from. I taught you to lead and not follow blindly my Son. To pay attention to what is happening around you and learn from what it is you witness. To not repeat the patterns others are and understand the way through the maze before you. Because most of this maze is mental my Son. It is happening in the mind and you are the one choosing which route you will go in every instant.
The power is in you and you are in control even when it feels as if you have none. Contemplate what you experience and try your best to not judge it. See it for what it is in those moments and greater understanding becomes visible within those darkened moments. This understanding is part of the key to your own inner peace.
I love you my Son. Blessings to you on this journey you have chosen for yourself. You are always in my mind and my heart is with you always. You are loved. I love you Frankie. You are my dream come true and God’s greatest gift to your Dad, Me and Humanity.”
Blessing on your journey my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.