Hello world. The following was written 4/22/2018.
A brother shared about cognitive dissonance late last night. The following was the dialogue which followed my initial response to his commentary and our other brothers responses to my comment.
My brother shares, “I’m learning that trying to make integrated points to one with advanced layers of Cognitive dissonance is almost impossible –
I mean I’m not Steven hawking ..so I don’t know how to break down that level of mental confusion-
And time here is to be cherished not squandered.”
My response, “I have learned when I share my personal experiences and the lessons learned through them as the example it cuts right through all the layers at once.”
My brother responds, “Keep it to personal and it may provide a compassionate curiosity long enough for them to see the gaps in their thinking.”
My response, “The sharing of the experience helps them to see themselves in your place. It also helps them to see there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel they find themselves in. It helps them to stop seeing you as above or below them and instead has them seeing you as their equal in all ways.”
Another brother responds, “Or just keep it real without a thought of changing someone’s mind. Stay true to your personal experience regardless of outcome.”
My response to this brother, “ Brother, that comes with time in and of itself. As we share we learn to let go our attachments that our brothers will accept what it is we share. Yet I have found that many of my brothers will come to me again and again asking questions trying to gain an understanding. Many times what they seek is just out of reach due to how they are perceiving the information given.
An example of this would be how I share how every rape, molestation, beating, mental and emotional abuse I experienced in my life was of benefit to me. That I would not be who I am with the understandings I have if I had never had them. Many of my brothers take my saying this as me believing women should seek out these abuses. Nothing could be further from the Truth.
I no longer see myself as a victim. I recognize where, when, what, why and how I judged each experience to be what it was to me. I accept that I was the one judging or choosing to accept a judgment about each and every one of them. I also accept responsibility for making my first judgments at 9 months old based on how I was being treated in the moment.
Just a little something to ruminate on this Sunday as you contemplate your own experiences and how you have been in judgment of them brother. Blessings to you on your journey. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.”
Another brother responds, “Sabrina. You shared so much. That took courage.”
My brother asks, “Sabrina Reyenga how did you bring back recollection of 9 month old? Holotropic breath work or psychedelics ? I’m curious how you activated it”
My response, “Good morning brother. My catalyst to looking within was multifaceted. I was literally faced with my own mortality. I was diagnosed with two forms of cancer and multiple other diseases after a motorcycle accident and was told my body was broken and that I was dying and nothing could be done for me. It started with me laying in a bed unable to move staring out my eyes as if through a window. Recognizing I was still alive within this shell I call my body and that NO ONE could see me within it. All they could see was the shell I was stuck in.
I was dealing with a gag reflex that had me gagging and vomiting any time another would try to control and manipulate me whether physically, mentally or emotionally. As I laid there in that bed I found myself looking at where that gag reflex was coming from. I asked Holy Spirit to show me where it came from and why it effects me the way it does.
Holy Spirit’s response was to fold time and space taking me back to those moments as that 9 month old infant. I stood there watching as a third person my paternal grandmother force feeding me as she ranted about her life and her lack of control over her son who impregnated my mother with me and then my brother.
In those moments Holy Spirit showed me what was happening in the moment to me. He then showed me how I was judging what was being experienced in those moments. I made the choice and decision to believe that I MUST be doing something wrong and deserve the treatment I was receiving. Holy Spirit then took me to the moment that my paternal grandmother kicked me across a room into a fireplace.
In those moments Holy Spirit was showing me what I was doing and what my grandmothers responses were to me in those moments. In the moment I was leaning into my grandmothers leg as she was holding my infant brother asking her to give me the love she was showering on him. Her response was to kick me away. In those moments I chose to judge that I must not be worthy of love, kindness or even the gentle touch of another. I learned that to ask for those things were to ask to be abused, shunned and ostracized.
In the moment those were the choices and decisions I had made to think and believe as I was based on how I was being treated in those moments. I had to accept responsibility for those choices I had made to believe and judge as I had. Once I could see what I had done I could accept responsibility for it and let it go. In letting it go I was able to heal completely on all levels.
As I chose to look within at everything Holy Spirit brought before me I would heal instantly a disease without medications or surgery. As I chose to look at each experience had and see where I made my own choices to judge and believe I healed everything I was diagnosed with. Each healing came instantly.
Holy Spirit would remind you all that the power of your minds to focus in on a belief is what has you all sick with diseases and going through all the pain and misery you do. If you would choose to willingly turn within to Him and stop seeking out there in your brothers and books, and instead turn inward to Him and you would find healing, joy and peace all the sooner. It is a choice each and every one of you must make for yourself though. You have to ask for His help every time and be willing to let go your beliefs and accept what it is He is laying before you. He will lay the Truth before you and you have to willingly accept it. It is a choice being made by you and only you. It cannot be forced on you. Hense that Free Will you are Given by God to be a Sovereign Being capable of Self Governance.
That inward journey showed me how easily we choose to conform, comply and believe as children to make our pain and suffering end. That as children we are taught that someone always has authority over us and that we are required to conform to their dictates or else. What Holy Spirit showed me was that no one has authority over me and they never have. I was never required to believe what they told me. I only thought and believed I was required to.
This inward journey has me taking back my Sovereignty my brothers. I am no longer willing to allow the government nor anyone else to tell me what it is I am or am not allowed to do. I no longer accept the prohibitions being handed to me by someone else. I have learned that to bow down to another’s authority or ask for permission or follow a prohibition is to hand away my Sovereignty and my authority to someone else. I would be willingly choosing to become their SLAVE. The purpose of Free Will goes very deep my brothers. It is through our willing capitulations that we hand away our rights for a false sense of safety and security through the use of subversive coercive subliminal manipulations being spoon fed to us from the day we are born.
That was part of the lesson that Holy Spirit showed me with that folding of time. He showed me how every one of my own choices to believe were what was causing me all my pain and suffering. He showed me how I was willingly accepting their judgments, labels, opinions and dictates as being true and how I was the one judging everything I was experiencing to be what it was for me.
When first faced with these truths it is a very bitter pill to swallow. That YOU ARE responsible for all that you were choosing to believe it was you were experiencing and that all your pain and suffering has come from YOU and YOUR choices to believe. Yet I tell you this, once you get that fucking pill down all else starts falling away as you see the Truth of what you chose and let that shit go fast. You suddenly get to see how all of it is interconnected and that as you release one part the others follow along and drop right over that cliff into the abyss of what never was.”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.