Hello world. The following was written 5/17/2015.
Projection makes perception. If you are thinking with your Ego, then you are thinking in lies. If you are thinking with the Holy Spirit as your Guide, you are thinking in Truth. Truth is Truth. It cannot be changed, only denied. Our circumstances do not matter. It is our state of being that matters. Every experience is for our benefit, whether we understand it in the moment we are experiencing it or not. Even the most painful and traumatic of situations, have lessons we are to learn within them about ourselves.
I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and many other illnesses and diseases. I had severe bronchial asthma, severe allergies to my environment, foods and medications. I was having migraines every day and was in mental and emotional turmoil over my life experiences. All with no understandings as to why. I have been through abusive relationships that were physical, mental, and emotional in my adult life as well as my growing years. Most before I met my Husband, Alex Reyenga.
At that point in my life I was tired of being lied to, used and cheated on. My Girl Friend of five years and Boy Friend of two years were seeing each other and wanted me to move out. When the doctors tell me I have cancers and other diseases the two people I have been in a relationship with tell me they are wanting to see only each other. This left me homeless and on the streets with my child possibly dying from cancers and disease. I was still numb from the shock of the news from the doctor. I asked for time then went out to smoke a cig. They couldn’t help themselves or she couldn’t. She kept talking trash until I snapped. I completely lost it and beat the crap out of her when she shoved me into one of the patio post.
My ex’s used this as an opportunity to try and do more damage. They then accused me of child abuse and wrote false affidavits to the courts so my son’s father could take custody from me. Beating with fists, choking, strangling, whipping and starving were a few of the things they accused me of. Even finding a place to stay I lost my son. I had to go through court required “therapies” with supervised visitations. At that point in my life, I felt very alone and I just wanted a friend. Someone to accept me for who I am. God gave me a best friend. He gave me Alex Reyenga.
When Alex and I first met he could not believe the things I was going through and experiencing with my son’s father. Until he witnessed it himself again and again. Their deliberate acts of cruelty. Denying me time with my son, hurt my son more than me. Telling him if he lived with me, he would never be able to see his brothers again. That I would beat on him and starve him. That he would never have a home with me. Until my son stepped forward, telling the therapists I never did those things. Until he stood in his Light of Truth, telling them I had never done those things, no one was believing me when I said I did nothing.
A few years into our relationship Alex and I bought a home. I then had a motorcycle accident. I have been in two motorcycle accidents. The first had me bedridden and then in a wheelchair depending on others for everything for almost three years. The doctor who saw me at the hospital for two weeks never noticed the splint was on my lower arm while my break was in my upper arm. It pulled the bones apart a little over an inch. The heal point is at an 11 degree angle. No attorney within the state of CA would touch it for any reason. Still usable and functioning, so no loss in their minds.
At that point my doctors were handing me pills like candy. I was at 14 pills, four times a day. After 8 months bedridden, I got to a wheelchair and was informed I would never walk unaided again if at all. I now had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome as well as the Endometriosis. I now had so many illnesses, bodily ailments and medications for them, I could feel my body dying. I was at my bottom. I found myself praying to a God I didn’t believe in and actively stated I hated. I asked to be shown how to get out of the mess I was in without wading through any more bullshit or I was ready to check out and end it all. The cry came from the depths of my Soul.
When I stopped trying to do something about any of it and just sat in stillness and silence I was given guidance on what Holy Spirit would have me do. I took a leap of faith what I was being told came from Holy Spirit that day. I have been listening to Holy Spirit ever since. I have been healed of everything I mentioned and much more. I am now walking on my own two feet unaided.
The body is a tool. It signals you to look at whatever you are doing. Whether it be eating, thinking, experiencing. Holy Spirit had me paying attention to what I ate and what my body did. To what I was thinking and my body’s responses. I connected the dots. Hmm, on the days I eat pork I get migraines. Wow, I eat citrus I get blisters and IBS. Same with non organics too. I react to the chemicals because I am allergic. Can only used non iodized salt or bam headaches. Hmm, I am judging this and that and I feel icky inside. See the picture? When you connect the dots things make sense.
The point here is this, you are exactly where you are supposed to be, going through what you are going through. All of it is for your benefit. Part of the lesson here is owning your judgments of yourself. Recognize until you love yourself no one else may love you. All healing starts and comes from within. When we point fingers and place blame, we are refusing to look at our own part in all of it. We made the choices which placed us there in the first place. We made the choice to accept and believe the judgments and labels made by others and then enact them on ourselves. When we own what we are believing as Truth, we can ask for the correction of our misconceptions by our Guide given us by God. This would be Holy Spirit. Go within and talk with Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit waits silently for each of us to come to Him for healing and to ASK Him for His guidance.
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.