Hello world. The following was written 11/04/2018.
The following was a response I made to brother’s sharing of their belief that men are victimizers and women are victims. That men are responsible for what it is a woman is thinking, feeling and experiencing. That the realization of self comes from sex and the enacting of sex. Siting this as the reason for our “Fear to Love”.
My brother shares, “The Fear to Love
The fear to love arises as a reaction to the experience of life in a loveless world. This is now a global neurosis which undermines the power of love. Love is a natural restorative and healer when free of the impediment of fear, and provides a sense of wellbeing that is constant and all-sustaining. Fear is synonymous with self. Self arises through sex, which becomes an unconscious negative force when unabated and able to control the mind and emotions of anyone it can possess.
The fundamental cause of the fear to love begins very early in the drama of life. At birth the infant body enters existence, having absorbed the emotional stress of the mother from the placenta in the womb. This negative energy is actualised the moment the umbilical cord is severed. It’s the young girl who’s most vulnerable to the forces of the world since the female consciousness is more naturally attuned to the original state of love than that of the male. The fear to love is registered at a deeply subconscious level in the presence of the father and any other males in the household or environment. They may be kind and loving, but their psychic emanation of sexual tension will imperceptibly infect the minds and emotional bodies of the young. All men are sexually frustrated, even the most promiscuous, until the self-obsessive drive for control over another has been transformed through love.
By the time the teenage girl reaches puberty she’s absorbed the anxieties, not only of her immediate environment but through the competitive regime of school and exposure to the sexual content generated through the internet. This energetic residue hardens as an emotional clot near the entrance of the vagina. When love is made for the first time, the virgin female is physically prepared but inwardly fearful and reliant on the loving reassurance from her lover. What happens is that she’s traumatised to some degree by the experience; the lovemaking was not what she expected it to be. And this is every woman’s story, more or less. She was looking for love while he was looking for sex. Her natural protection, which is her innocence and divinity of love, could not offset the forces of the sexual self. And if the lovemaking was beautiful, the man leaves soon afterwards — and in so doing breaks her young heart. Woman never gets over this first betrayal of love.
Woman fears sex without the presence of love. Her self-doubt often arises through her conflict between her yearning to be with man and the fear to enter a new relationship and suffer another broken heart. The solution is to be in command of love, but with the knowledge of what causes her pain. A woman must know what she doesn’t want, having experienced the highs and lows in her relationships. In this way the traumas of the past serve as the wisdom distilled through the living process of life. But she must be prepared to die for this, whatever the price in personal loss and material security. For example, she must be willing to put honesty to love first by refusing to compromise with anything that makes her emotional in her relationship with man.
For a woman who puts love first, it would be intolerable to her to be with a man who frequently cuts off from communicating or undermines her in any way. The hurts and disappointments from the endeavour to love in the past are able to serve in the present as warning signs, not unlike a burglar alarm that’s set off when triggered by an intruder. Although it’s less common for a man to realise at a sufficient depth of the psyche that he was born to love, and to undertake to reach woman with his great passion and divine inspiration, he is out there. And a man who is worthy will always appear at the behest of love to any woman who refuses to give in to man’s sexual self.
It’s essential in love for a woman to be as wise as a serpent and as a gentle as a dove. A woman can sometimes be overly assertive and critical of a man in situations where it’s not appropriate. This is often to disguise her fear as a safeguard to being hurt again, as she was when vulnerable to love in the past. Alternatively, a less assertive woman often submits to the demands of man to avoid any confrontation with the source of her inner pain. In both instances, it’s the fear to love which undermines the honesty of the interaction and right discrimination necessary to deal with the situation effectively.
When a woman knows what she’s doing, and is true to her innate wisdom and virtue, she’s invincible — and never again need fear to love.”
My response, “Hello brother. Something to consider here is that there are NO victims in this world. Every single Being on this planet and this manifestation of creation of the Universal Reality is RESPONSIBLE for themselves and EVERY choice and decision THEY ARE MAKING to be and believe as they are choosing to do. NO ONE is responsible for these choices they are making to perceive so believe their experiences to be, BUT THEM!
The catalyst to FEAR IS JUDGMENT. It IS judgment that you fear being subjected to. Judgment is the tool that is and has been being used on you and all of Humanity as a controlling mechanism. The tool of judgment comes in myriad forms and may be distributed in myriad ways. One of the ways would be language using the median of labels and their made up definitions. Each label and definition you choose to accept and believe in as being true creates a bar to cage you are building for YOURSELF within your OWN MIND. Each judgmental label is an opinion being handed to you by someone else and what it is THEY HAVE CHOSEN for themselves to believe in.
What another is choosing for them, is their choice. YOU are NOT required to accept NOR believe in whatever it is they are choosing for themselves. You have NEVER been required to accept NOR believe in anything anyone else is or has chosen for themselves. Neither is anyone else required to accept NOR believe in anything YOU HAVE CHOSEN to believe in for YOU. We are each responsible for ourselves and EVERY SINGLE CHOICE or DECISION WE have MADE to believe as we do.
At nine (9) months old I was force fed by my Paternal Grandmother and then kicked across a room into a brick fireplace when I leaned into her leg touching her, asking to be held and loved on as she was loving my new born infant brother. Her response was to kick me away from her. In both of those incidents I was the one who JUDGED what it was I was experiencing to be what it was for me. I was the one judging that I must be doing something wrong to deserve this treatment. I judged that I must not deserve to treated lovingly and gently as others are.
In each and every situation I was the one who judge what was being experienced or I was accepting someone else’s judgments and opinions about what I was experiencing. In each instant I made a choice to believe so judge my experience as being what it was for me. No one made those choices for me. I had to accept responsibility for doing these things myself. Even each and every incident of rape and molestation I experienced starting also at 9 months old was being judged by me and I was accepting the judgments of them from others.
All I learned myself to be had been taught to me by someone else just as it has been taught to them. Every single situation was a repeated pattern that had been learned so was being taught from one generation to the next unknowingly. Our ancestors have been propagating a cult mentality taught to them without questioning what or why it was they were doing what they were doing. They were told they had no choice and had to believe or punishments would be the results of their choice to diverge from the status quo of the Authority figure we were told to believe in.
Society is a Cult Mentality all of Humanity has been indoctrinated into believing in. We are trained to perceive ourselves as a body when we are not. We are taught to perceive ourselves as victims when we are not. We are taught we do not get a choice when we do. We are taught we must conform and comply to be accepted which is a lie. We are told we are what they think we are which is a lie. Everything we are and have been taught are lies created to control every aspect of what we think, say, do, perceive and so believe ourselves and this reality to be. We have been TRAINED to perceive in these ways.
Humanity has been indoctrinated into believing an illusion of lies as being the Truth and Truth as being the lie. Sex is a tool to be used for the procreation of life and the joining together of the energy of two beings into one in the creation of that life. LOVE IS NOT a requirement for this. LOVE is a side benefit of it.
Something else to consider here is that words are but symbols of symbols and will only hold the meanings for you that YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM. What you call and express LOVE as being will be very different from how another is choosing to believe and express LOVE as being. An example of this would be my Ex. His expressions of Love were violent, for his were based in FEAR. He stood 6’6 and was over 300 lbs. I stand 5′ tall and was around 150 lbs at the time. He would pick me up, shake me like a rag doll and then slam me against a wall, all while screaming at me how horrible of a being I AM and the HE LOVES me and that no other man will ever want me… Those were his perceptions of what LOVE was and how it was to be expressed. That is NOT how I perceive nor express LOVE as being. Yet it seems as if many others including YOU seem to hold this same view or perception that that is what LOVE is and how it is expressed.
Brother you HAVE BEEN TAUGHT POORLY! Unconditional LOVE is given without attachments of judgments nor expectations of reciprocation. Unconditional LOVE is to be given FREELY to ALL and not just the chosen few. There is no differences between one being and the next. That is part of the illusion you have been trained to perceive. EVERYONE is your EQUAL in ALL WAYS. Each of us hold both the masculine and the feminine within us in Equal Measure. We are trained to focus on one aspect or the other depending on the purview of the adults around us. We are taught to be and believe as they are teaching us too.
What you have shared here brother is a very twisted perspective and purview of YOURSELF as a victimizer and your brothers as YOUR victims. You have identified yourself as that shell you call your body. YOU are NOT your body brother. That body is no more than a tool, a vehicle to transport you from one experience into another. Your body DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
Women are not victims and do not FEAR SEX. That generalization is a lie. As a woman who HAS experienced the vagaries of sexual, mental, emotional and physical abuses in THIS LIFE TIME, I can state succinctly that NONE of those experiences DEFINE ME in any way. They were no more than experiences that had lessons within them that I was to learn of myself and who or what it was I was taught to be and how those beliefs were lies that were controlling me. As I already stated every belief is a choice being made by the individual to accept a judgmental lie as being real and True for them. Each individual is responsible for their own choices to believe and so perceive their reality as being. NO ONE is a VICTIM here! NO ONE!”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.