Hello world. The following was written 01/11/2020.
I used to be terrified of being seen or heard. I used to be terrified the world would find out I was psychic. Growing up I was judged by my family, their friends, neighbors and the Catholic Church as being demon possessed so evil. They believed the only way to get the demons out of me, was to beat them out of me through caning, exorcisms, rapes, molestation and myriad mental and emotional abuses. That treatment continued until I was 14 years old when I walked away from the church and 2 years later I walked away from my family.
On my journey I tried to hide my abilities. My brothers would react the same way my family and the church reacted to what I was able to do. This caused me to have to walk a very solitary path alone with no support, validation or acceptance from those around me. I had to learn to become Self Reliant and to TRUST that which was being shown me by Holy Spirit.
My fear of being seen so judged incurred multiple cancers and other diseases within my body. My fear of accepting who I AM and that which I AM able to do was killing me slowly from within, eating at me unknowingly. I was told I was dying by doctors and that I was delusional for having visions and hearing Voiceless Voices. They wanted to hospitalize and institutionalize me. I walked away from them all.
I turned within and began listening fully to those Voiceless Voices asking questions of Holy Spirit and my Guides. Slowly I began to accept myself exactly as I AM and all that I AM able to do. When I did, I healed completely on all levels of my Being all disease and every experience I ever had. I AM no longer afraid to be seen or heard. I AM that I AM and no one but me gets a say in what I AM choosing for me. My choices are my choices to Be as I choose to Be. No one else gets a say in it at any time, ever.
My brothers fear not being seen or heard. You are allowed to think, see, Be, believe, perceive so express yourself exactly as you so choose. You are not required to do or Be as anyone else is choosing or dictating to you. You are allowed to choose differently than they do for yourself. Stand in your Light of Truth and accept yourself as you are and choose to be. It matters not if those around you agree with you. What they choose is what they will have to heal themselves from just as you will have to heal yourself on your own journey. We are only responsible for ourselves and that which we are choosing for us. We cannot choose for our brothers and they cannot choose for us. We are Individuals who are EQUALS in ALL ways, so each is responsible for themselves and what they are choosing.
A brother states, “Very deep and beautiful wisdom Sabrina. Your stripes were hard won. Thank you”
My response, “Everything we go through is for our benefit with lessons we are to learn of ourselves and that which we are choosing to believe in. It is only when we willingly turn within to Holy Spirit and begin to ask “NON JUDGMENTAL” questions that we are given the answers we so desperately seek. Even when turning within we must drop our preconceived notions and judgments of what we believe everything is for. The belief we are being punished in some way so we ask things like, why me, what did I do to deserve this kind of treatment, sort of questions. Those types of questions hold a prejudgment that something has gone wrong. Instead we would do better to ask how is this of benefit and what would you have me understand so learn from this Holy Spirit. All becomes a shifting in how we are thinking and perceiving.”
A brother states, “There’s some real wisdom here Sabrina. It’s a huge shift in approach for most of us. A real challenge. Sounds somewhat like the path Someone else walked two thousand years ago…”
My response, “I no longer follow religion my brother, yet I will state this succinctly. Being raised Catholic I would ask what did Jesus do in my mind even when the adults around me were telling me to do this because they say so. As an adult I reached a point of needing to understand why it was I could not see Jesus as other than a man. Holy Spirit answered my question explaining that Jesus was a man. He was no different than me. When asked what to do by his followers He told them to turn within to Holy Spirit for their guidance and the answers to their questions.
When Jesus was in his home town he was faced with disbelief from those who knew him as a child. Their lack of belief in him kept him from being able to perform any miracles in their presence. In this same way I was shown how my own family treated me the same as those towns people treated him. In those moments Jesus faced a lack of faith and belief within himself. Instead of turning to those around him he turn within to Holy Spirit and headed into the desert for 40 days and nights.
It was that turning within to Holy Spirit and no one else that caught my attentions when speaking to the Voiceless Voices I heard within and without me. It was that understanding of turning within for all answers I would seek and asking Holy Spirit for the answers that began my journey to accepting responsibility for myself so becoming who I AM and was meant to be.
If I seem similar to him in any way it is only because I have chosen to do as Jesus did, which was turn within to Holy Spirit and only Holy Spirit for all of the answers to my questions. I stopped seeking out there in the world and in my brothers for answers, acceptance or approval. I AM that I AM and no one else gets a say in who I choose to Be. I stand in my Light of Truth just as Jesus did.”
My brother responds, “Well said Sabrina. Self acceptance and listening to our inner guidance/intuition is a vitally important spiritual lesson. Seems you learned it the hard way — but learned it well.”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.