Hello world. The following was written 4/26/2015.
My guidance is to share what experiences I have had and Holy Spirit’s guidance and processes for me to heal them. To show a different perspective from which to view what is experienced from. How my healing was and is accomplished. To show how His guidance can heal all.
For a couple of weeks Alex and I had been discussing whether or not there were Guardian Angels, God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit. I was following Wicca, Druidism and Shamanism, and had an active dislike for anything to do with GOD. My childhood was very abusive in many ways. I was plagued with migraines for as long as I can remember and would have one every single day all day. I got real used to pain, and suffering silently.
My path to building trust, faith, belief and healing began Feb. 14, 2004 on Valentine’s Day, when I wrecked my motorcycle. As I came up to the curve in the road I realized my brakes had failed and I wasn’t going to make it, I new I would be going through the barbed wire fence and hitting the telephone pole. Either way I was dead.
In my mind I said, “Oh my God, I’m not going to make it. What do I do?” At that moment I heard a Voiceless Voice say, “Just close your eyes and relax.” I did. The bike threw me off. I followed the curve of the road bouncing off of drainage rocks doing cartwheels like a rag doll. I came to rest about 200–300 feet up the road. The bike continued through the fence barely missing the telephone pole.
The results of this accident, I broke my left arm between the elbow and shoulder, the cup the joint goes into on the left ankle and I compacted my neck vertebrae into my skull. This left me bedridden unable to move or do anything for myself. I found myself giving away every single job I believed defined me to someone else. As I handed out another piece of what I thought was me I died a little inside.
Someone else was cooking for my family. Someone else was managing my business and being my Husbands right hand. Someone else is washing my laundry and cleaning my house. Someone else is now feeding me, washing me, wiping me. As I lay there slowly dying inside my doctors tell me more crap I really didn’t want to hear.
The doctor who saw me everyday, three times a day, for two weeks while I was hospitalized, tells me this on my two week follow up. The break isn’t where they thought it was. My recovery is now extended by years instead of months. Other doctors tell me I have Endometriosis, Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome, Migraines, Severe Bronchial Asthma, High blood pressure, diabetes, lots of allergies (but not sure which), sleep apnea and will be bleeding until I die (menstruation) and I will never walk unaided again. Now lets move that splint and no I don’t want any help with it (directed at Alex). Could you not scream please. You are overreacting! Here are 14 pills, take them 4 times a day. NEXT! (Yes exaggerated. But very close to the Truth.)
I spent the next 8 months bedridden unable to do anything for myself. I gained weight and got more and more sick. The more medications I took, the more my body shut down. I then upgraded to a wheelchair (electric! Win! Kids loved it!). I could finally go to the bathroom alone, not!
As I watched my body dying and everything I thought I was, being torn down around me, my Husband needed release so I had to find him a replacement for that too. I wasn’t even a woman anymore. Let alone a wife, mother, business woman, and so on and so forth. I hit a very deep bottom. I was looking at all those pills and thinking how fast would I go. It wasn’t as if I even mattered. I was a burden.
Sitting in my wheelchair alone in the house I prayed to a God I hated and didn’t believe in. I had no faith He was there. I actively hated him in my mind for the hell my life was. Still I prayed. More like told. I said God either you show me a clear path without having to wade through more bull shit to get out of this mess I am in or I am checking out. I can’t do this shit anymore. I will take these pills and come home!
I had an inkling of belief from the Voiceless Voice. I listened with all my Being and gave over my trust the Voiceless Voice would answer and guide me. As I sat there crying the Voiceless Voice responded. My first guidance was to pay attention to what my body told me. When I stopped listening to the doctors and anyone else and listened to and did as I was told by the Voiceless Voice, I began to recognized my body’s cue’s. It wasn’t easy either. I had everyone freaking out around me about me wanting to change what we were eating. Still I listened and began to heal.
It wasn’t until the end of 2012 Alex and I took ACIM. Between 2004 and now I have been healed of everything I was diagnosed with. I am even walking under my own power again and losing weight fast. All by following Holy Spirit’s guidance from within me. The process wasn’t easy. But all of it has been a gift. ALL OF IT!! All of this is what has given me faith there is a God out there and that is the best gift of all.
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.