Hello world. The following was written 4/26/2015.
I woke up the other morning to a post from my son on Facebook. My son is in the military and has been “out” for the last few weeks on location in the woods. His post was about a dream he had about His grandfather. In his dream he was sitting there and his grampa was telling him how much he loved him. He then told my son it was time for him to go. When my son asked where his grampa was going his grampa told him, “I am going home. I am finally going home.” When my son woke up he wandered around the woods looking for a cell phone signal. When he finally found one he found out His grampa had died the day before.
My guidance was to tell my son his Grampa was gifting him with a final visit to tell him goodbye, he was proud of him and he loved him. He understood my son loved him and it was never his choice to not be there with him when he was little. The next day I received a text from my son telling me, “I miss you mom.” My response was a simple, “I miss you too Son. I love you.”
Yesterday I spent the day with my mother. We talked about God. For years my mother has refused to talk to me in any way about what I have been dealing with mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Her response was usually along the lines of I don’t believe as you do so I think what you are doing is against God. That was her perceptions. Yesterday as we talked for the first time she didn’t say that to me. She actually talked to me about it all and even agreed with what I was talking about. I watched a light come into my mothers eyes as I spoke of the healing Holy Spirit has given me from the abuses in my childhood. As an understanding dawned in her mind of what it is she had been holding onto. I watched her release it. Understanding that as I break the cycles within me she can now break the cycles within her.
As we spoke she conveyed her realization that time for her was running out. After years of battling cancer with one surgery after another and her last hospital stay being over a yearlong that every moment she has is precious. She no longer wants to waste them on the BS. I watched my mother come alive and begin to dance around my home in utter joy for the first time in years. I hadn’t seen her like that since I was 15. It brought tears to my eyes then and is doing so now even as I write this.
Holy Spirit has shown me that the only way to heal is with Him. I will never find the answers outside of me. It is my willingness to look at every single thing I have ever experienced without exceptions, that has permitted me to heal and be healed. The process is a process of SELF INQUIRY. Holy Spirit has “asked” me questions continuously throughout my process. Holy Spirits main stay questions are these, “If everything you think you know to be true has been taught to you by someone else just as it was taught to them, how do you know it is the Truth? Who do you believe yourself to be? What defines you? What is it you truly believe in your heart as Truth? What gives you faith and belief there is a God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, or Angels?”. When I actually looked at these and contemplated them, Holy Spirit then showed me what I was believing as Truth. He showed me how I was placing other people’s beliefs above my own. Until I healed my own mind and heart there was no way I could have helped my mother heal hers.
My path has shown me everything is my choice. I choose to listen to Holy Spirit or the ego. When I listen to others and believe their judgments of me or what I read in a book I am believing in ego. Only I can do this work with Holy Spirit within me. No one else may do this for me. I have to make a conscious choice as to what I am going to believe now. The responsibility is mine and mine alone. I am responsible for what I think, feel, perceive and experience. No one else is to blame ever. I am not responsible for what they are going through in their minds either. I had to learn to stop listening to and believing what others said of me. It is a habit we learn and have to unlearn. Unlearn it I did!
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.