Hello world. The following was written 12/10/2014.
I was talking with my Husband Alex last night about fears. I am not afraid of death. It doesn’t frighten me. I have died and been resuscitated so many times death no longer terrifies me. Yet the thought of my Husband Alex dying scares the shit out of me. The thought of being left alone to deal with life without his love and support really terrifies me. So much so that I can’t stop crying at the mere thought of it. This is actually quite strange for me, simply because being alone has never bothered me in any way before. I like my own company and the silence and stillness. To think of my Husband as no longer being here creates such an aching void in my heart that it truly feels unbearable. So much so that I feel as if I would no longer want to exist without him with me. Wow such powerful emotions. I am struggling to maintain some semblance of control here. Holy Spirit what is in this lesson for me? Is is that I can love so very deeply?
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.