Hello world. The following was written 12/14/2016.
A brother asks, “if there is no sin then what is a adult taking sexual advantage of a 2 year old boy, please tell me that is just judgement. on what planet is this okay to groom a child so badly that they now are becoming the predator. your telling me this was not a offense to that young child”
My response, “Right now you see yourself, as a victim. Something to consider, everything they do is a pattern being repeated, which was taught to them. It is a pattern they never stopped to question, why they did it or why it was done to them. Many times a pattern is generational, passed from one generation to the next.
What was experienced, was just an experience. It had no meaning to it and no value, until you chose to judge it as being whatever you have. You accepted the judgments and opinions being handed to you, as if they were the Truth. They are not. All of them, are lies.
You are the one who gets to define, who you are. No one else gets a say in this, just you. You are not the body, you are in. You are the Soul, within the shell. Nothing which happens to the shell, will ever define the Soul within it. You are innocent and beautiful, just as you are. You have always been, innocent and pure. It is your own belief in the judgments handed to you, which has you believing differently. Trust me, I know! I did it to myself for almost 40 years.
You are the one who gets to choose, what you want to believe. Blindly following and believing every judgment and opinion handed to you, is what is causing you the pain and suffering you are enduring now. Look within your own heart and mind at what was experienced, with your Inner Guides and Holy Spirit. Ask Them, to show you the Truth, of what it is you have chosen to believe.
You have the answers, within you. Being willing to go within, is the key though. You have to be willing, to be brutally honest with yourself and completely authentic, on all levels. To look at all of it, as an observer, without judgment. To see, what you could not see, then. When you do, you will be able to let it all go, and heal.
You are, loved. You do, have purpose here. You are, worthy. You are, a blessing to all who know you. They do not see what you see, when you look at your reflection. What you are seeing, is a distorted image which has been taught to you.
Something else to consider, every judgment you hold forth as being Truth, you hand to the child. The child is innocent and pure, just as you are. Everything I shared, is based from my own healing, of THOSE judgments and opinions taught to me, by my family and everyone around me.
I was told, I was ruined, unworthy to be loved, to ever have a family, children, spouse, and so on. I also chose to start making my own judgments and beliefs, at a very young age. At 9 months, I decided I must deserve the treatment, I was receiving and at age 5, I decided, maybe if I was fat, they would leave me alone. They would stop, touching me and hurting me. Maybe my family, would finally accept me and love me. Believe me, I have been there. It is, a mind fuck from hell. Do not, put your baby through this.”
My brother responds, “ i know, but it changes the brain, early onset ptsd, and this isnt about me its about my son, so please reajust because you are calling it wrong. i know who i am, i need him to grow up knowing who he is and im doing my best to try to correct this. do you know whats its like to have your little baby comming on to you night after night because someone taught him this is how to get attention and love, and hes not taking correction because his brain doesnt work that way yet. all im saying is that you cannot be in this position and not judge and still protect your kid.
im not judging him i know its not his fault, this was learned, but now I am in charge of making sure that another preditor isnt out there and how do i do that without judging which behaviours are good and bad, do you understand. its not okay to force yourself on another person ever, that is bad, it is also a judgement. even if the intent was not to harm, it has, that just the way it is, he will never be the same and without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training. “
My response, “Actually, I just explained to you, the process your child will have to go through, if YOU judge what has happened, and express those judgments to your son. Even a judgment held in silence, IS FELT. Children, are natural Empaths. They feel, see, and understand, a whole lot more than you would believe.
YOU, need to let go, YOUR judgments, if you do not want your son to be traumatized by this, more than he has. Do you understand what it is, I am saying? What happened, was an experience. How YOU handle it and deal with it from here on out, is what your son WILL REMEMBER.
This is what he will be defining himself from, your judgment of him and what you believe to be true. LET GO, YOUR JUDGMENTS. Love him, as he is. Accept him, without judgments and teach him, to do the same. To love and accept himself, without judgments, exactly as he is.
You stated, he was two. What has been learned, can be unlearned. If given an example to follow, anyone can change. Be the example, he needs. Love him unconditionally, without judgments. Show him, alternate ways to see, think, and do things, and he will begin to choose differently himself. All of us, have Free Will. Even, babies. You cannot control him, and who he is to be. The only one you can control, is you. My son is 24, and I had to learn this, very early.
Do you realize, right this minute, you have already judged and condemned your own son, with your own words of judgment? “even if the intent was not to harm, it has, that just the way it is, he will never be the same and without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training”
Your words of “He will never be the same… And without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training…”
HE HAS NOT, CHANGED! HE IS, STILL THE SAME! He will become what he becomes, based on what he learns from you, as his mother. It is YOUR judgments, which are tainting, this picture. HE IS, INNOCENT! HE IS, PURE! HE HAS NO KNOWING, OF WHAT HAS BEEN DONE! ONLY, YOU DO! You are the only one, with knowing, right now. He will learn this, from YOU.
Just as I learned it, from the adults around me. Their spoken and unspoken judgments, were heard and felt. They were learned and learned, deeply and painfully. Do you really want to teach, this pain and suffering to your son? Do you?
I love you. I love your son, as if he is my own. I understand and know, where both of you are at, right now. I have been there, too. I had to choose, what it was I was going to teach, my son. I chose, Love.”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.
It seems odd that anything a 2 year old does would seem like a “come on”. I wonder what the little guy is doing to make the mother judge the actions as such. The mother might even be reading more into things. It’s her behavior and things she’s saying that’s really going to shape this child, more than whatever she asked to be around him for so long. Great advice.
Thank you. It is not so unusual for a parent, family or caretaker, to judge someone as damaged, ruined, no longer worthy and many other things. I myself had those things happen to me. I also had my peers judging me as a whore because of it. So it is not so unusual.