Hello world. The following was written 12/14/2016.
A brother asks, “if there is no sin then what is a adult taking sexual advantage of a 2 year old boy, please tell me that is just judgement. on what planet is this okay to groom a child so badly that they now are becoming the predator. your telling me this was not a offense to that young child”
My response, “Right now you see yourself as a victim. Something to consider here, everything they do is a pattern being repeated that was taught to them. It is a pattern they never stopped to question why they did it or why it was done to them. Many times a pattern is generational, passed from one generation to the next.
What was experienced was just that an experience. It had no meaning to it and no value until you chose to judge it as being whatever you have. You accepted the judgments and opinions being handed to you as if they were the absolute Truth. They are not. All of them are lies.
You are the one who gets to define who you are. No one else gets a say in that, just you. You are not that body you are in. You are the Soul within that shell. Nothing that happens to that shell will ever define the Soul within it. You are innocent and beautiful just as you are. You have always been innocent and pure. It is your own belief in the judgments handed to you that has you believing differently. Trust me, I know! I did it to myself for almost 40 years.
You are the one who gets to choose what you want to believe. Blindly following and believing every judgment and opinion handed to you is what is causing you the pain and suffering you are enduring now. Look within your own heart and mind at what was experienced with your Inner Guides and Holy Spirit. Ask them to show you the Truth of what it is you have chosen to believe in this.
You have the answers within you. Being willing to go within is the key though. You have to be willing to be brutally honest with yourself and completely authentic on all levels. To look at all of it as an observer without judgment this time. To see what you could not see then. When you do you will be able to let it all go and heal.
You are love. You do have purpose here. You are worthy. You are a blessing to all who know you. They do not see what you see when you look at your reflection. What you are seeing is a distorted image that has been handed to you.
Something else to consider here, every judgment you hold forth as being truth, you hand to that child. That child is innocent and pure, just as you are. Everything I just shared is based from my own healing of THOSE judgments and opinions being handed to me by my family and everyone else around me at the time.
I was told I was ruined, unworthy to be loved, to ever have a family, children, spouse, and the list goes on and on and on. I also chose to start making my own judgments and beliefs at a very young age. At 9 months I decided I must deserve the treatment I was receiving and at 4–5 I decided that maybe if I was fat they would leave me alone. They would stop touching me and hurting me. Maybe my family would finally accept me and love me. Believe me I have been there. It is a mind fuck from hell. Do not put that baby through that.”
My brother responds, “ i know, but it changes the brain, early onset ptsd, and this isnt about me its about my son, so please reajust because you are calling it wrong. i know who i am, i need him to grow up knowing who he is and im doing my best to try to correct this. do you know whats its like to have your little baby comming on to you night after night because someone taught him this is how to get attention and love, and hes not taking correction because his brain doesnt work that way yet. all im saying is that you cannot be in this position and not judge and still protect your kid.
im not judging him i know its not his fault, this was learned, but now I am in charge of making sure that another preditor isnt out there and how do i do that without judging which behaviours are good and bad, do you understand. its not okay to force yourself on another person ever, that is bad, it is also a judgement. even if the intent was not to harm, it has, that just the way it is, he will never be the same and without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training. “
My response, “Actually, I just explained to you the process your child will have to go through if YOU judge what has happened and express those judgments to your son. Even a judgment held in silence IS FELT. Children are natural Empaths. They feel, see, and understand a whole lot more than you would believe.
YOU need to let go YOUR judgments if you do not want your son to be traumatized by this more than he has. Do you understand what it is I am saying? What happened was an experience. How YOU handle it and deal with it from here on out is what your son WILL REMEMBER.
That is what he will be defining himself from, your judgment of him and what you believe to be true. LET GO YOUR JUDGMENTS. Love him as he is. Accept him without judgments and teach him to do the same. To love and accept himself without judgments exactly as he is.
You stated he was two. What has been learned can be unlearned. If given an example to follow anyone can change. Be the example he needs. Love him unconditionally without judgments. Show him alternate ways to see, think, and do things and he will begin to choose differently himself. All of us have Free Will. Even babies. You cannot control him and who he is. The only one you can control is you. My son is 24 and I had to learn that one very early.
Do you realize right this minute you have already judged and condemned your own son with your own words of judgment? “even if the intent was not to harm, it has, that just the way it is, he will never be the same and without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training”
Your words of “He will never be the same… And without some type of moral compass he is a narcissist in training…”
HE HAS NOT CHANGED!!!! HE IS STILL THE SAME!!!! He will become what he becomes based on what he learns from you as his mother. It is YOUR judgments that are tainting this picture. HE IS INNOCENT!!!! HE IS PURE!!!! HE HAS NO KNOWING OF WHAT HAS BEEN DONE!!!!! ONLY YOU DO!!!!! You are the only one with knowing right now. He will learn this from YOU.
Just as I learned it all from the adults around me. Their spoken and unspoken judgments were heard and felt. They were learned and learned deeply and painfully. Do you really want to teach that pain and suffering to your son? Do you?
I love you. I love your son as if he is my own. I understand and know where both of you are at right now. I have been there too. I had to choose what it was I was going to teach my son. I chose Love.
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.