Hello world. The following was written 4/7/2014.
While cuddling on the couch with my Husband last night I came to the realization I haven’t had a migraine in about a month. I have gone from having them every single day of my life to none for an entire month. Damn, this is a great feeling. I am doing what the doctors couldn’t. I am figuring out what was causing them and correcting the issue. Score points for me! My fix has been extreme. But if it works, it works!
Holy Spirit keeps telling me the way to teach is to testify to what He is and has been doing within my life. To share the things I have experienced in my life and how Holy Spirit has helped me to heal and see it all differently. Everything I have ever been through was for my benefit. All of it was a gift. How will I know when I am doing things right? I asked this question a lot in the beginning. Holy Spirit’s answer was quite simple, “You will witness My Truth within you.” All I can say is, I have.
Every single physical ailment a doctor diagnosed me with, Holy Spirit has reversed. Everything I thought was done to me growing up was a misconception and a judgment I chose to believe and enacted on those around me. Holy Spirit lifted the veils over my eyes to show me the Truth in all of this. How can I say any of this is Truth and not me being subjective? Because my body has been healed and so has my mind. Yes my BODY and MIND have been HEALED literally. I am testifying to the Truth and the Light of His guidance in my life.
Quoting something I read or something I heard another say does me no good. I will not and cannot find Truth outside of myself. When I look without all I will receive is the judgments of the damned. For they are in the pits of hell and would really and truly love my company.
Something to contemplate, when I look at the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical responses I am experiencing in any given situation I immediately begin looking at and identifying the thoughts in my mind. I then look at the emotions I am experiencing and my bodies physical reactions to these things. I analyze what I am experiencing. I ask myself questions and really look at the answers. This is what looking within is. I then take these experiences and look at them with Holy Spirit. I GO within with Holy Spirit and listen to His counsel and His alone. I ask the questions and He shows me the Truth of my beliefs.
What am I reacting to? Why am I reacting to this? Why does it feel as if I was stabbed in the center of my chest when I hear this or read that? Why does it feel as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest? Why are they saying I asked for them to beat me, rape me, molest me, steal from me, try to kill me and kill me? Why am I being punished? Why won’t all this guilt, shame, fear, and suffering go away? Why isn’t it helping me when I hear others telling me what I should or shouldn’t do, say and act? Why does it feel as if I can never do anything right? Why am I always being judged as being unworthy and less then everything and everyone else around me? Why can’t I find happiness? Why don’t they love me? What is it I am misperceiving? What am I missing in this picture?
The Truth is I was searching for someone else to tell me what to say and do. I was constantly asking for answers from anyone I would meet. I did not want to be responsible for my own poor choices. News flash! I am the only one responsible for my choices. I have Free Will to choose what it is I want to think, feel, do, and experience at any given moment in my life. ANY GIVEN MOMENT the CHOICE is MINE!!!! I analyze everything I am experiencing without exception. I have to or I cannot heal from it. If I do not look at these things, then I am in denial. I am lying to myself and the world that I do not want to know the Truth. That I am just a victim of the world I see.
Are you able to look at the experiences in your life and see them as the gifts they are? Because if you can’t, then don’t come trying to teach me anything. When all I am hearing is you blaming all your woes on mommy and daddy and you have years on me, so you should know better, been doing this, this long. Uh huh, I am beginning to get the picture you think you are an ostrich. You keep burying your head in the ground, up your own ass or someone else’s ass.
I see the things I have experienced in my life as the gifts they are. I no longer blame or point fingers saying oh they did this or that. They are evil. I am being blamed for everything, why me?
I am RESPONSIBLE for what I perceive. No one else can make these choices for me. I make the choice! I am not a victim of this world and neither is anyone else. I choose what I am experiencing always. Please, keep your prattle and bullshit to yourself. I will not become another target for you to try and blame your issues on. Your pain and suffering will not end if you keep gripping them to you so tightly.
Holy Spirit states, “A concept misperceived! FYI, Awakening comes in bite sized pieces or baby steps. If it came any bigger you would choke on it and decide to kill yourselves. Your ego thought system will never go away. It will just take a back seat to Holy Spirit. Those thoughts in your head will always be there. You just stop enacting them and reacting to them. As they play out in the back of your mind, look at them. Recognize what they are and where they came from. I will be here with you as you walk these halls. We shall shine the Light together. You are the example. You will be the Light.”
Blessings on your journeys my brothers. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.